Monday, November 05, 2012

Nano Problems

Other than being the 5th of November, it's also 5 days into National Novel Writing Month. 5 days with no tally to get behind at all. My nano days appear to be numbered unless I can get something down tonight, when the Bean goes to her father's house.

It's hard mostly because I seem to have all these creative ideas, but nothing seems to want come out of my head. I'm starting to blame the internet for that. With all of it's distractions. It's ways of making things easier while getting in the way of everything else.

My brain I think is on hiatus. I tried convincing my ex last night that I don't have any feelings, but he kept telling me that there was no way I was numb. It's oh so awesome when people think that they have the right to tell me what to do. It comes on the heals of someone that I trusted and thought that I had built up a really good friendship with telling me that I treat my GF (his sister), like a slave, and that I am abusing her. It was wonderful. I know that I don't, or at least I hope that I don't, but there is still that thought in the back of my head. Either way, instead of working on nano for the last 5 days I have been dealing with that crap. Crap I can't even defend myself against, because the person that said it, proceeded to delete me from everything without giving me any explanations. To me when people do that it means they have nothing to begin with.

So that on top of everything else that goes on in my life on a regular day, my brain just isn't there. Oh yeah! The not sleeping for days. Just wonderful. I do think that I need a vacation. I need to go somewhere that allows me to just breathe for a little while. Maybe even just sleep for days. I would love to sleep for days.

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