Other than being the 5th of November, it's also 5 days into National Novel Writing Month. 5 days with no tally to get behind at all. My nano days appear to be numbered unless I can get something down tonight, when the Bean goes to her father's house.
It's hard mostly because I seem to have all these creative ideas, but nothing seems to want come out of my head. I'm starting to blame the internet for that. With all of it's distractions. It's ways of making things easier while getting in the way of everything else.
My brain I think is on hiatus. I tried convincing my ex last night that I don't have any feelings, but he kept telling me that there was no way I was numb. It's oh so awesome when people think that they have the right to tell me what to do. It comes on the heals of someone that I trusted and thought that I had built up a really good friendship with telling me that I treat my GF (his sister), like a slave, and that I am abusing her. It was wonderful. I know that I don't, or at least I hope that I don't, but there is still that thought in the back of my head. Either way, instead of working on nano for the last 5 days I have been dealing with that crap. Crap I can't even defend myself against, because the person that said it, proceeded to delete me from everything without giving me any explanations. To me when people do that it means they have nothing to begin with.
So that on top of everything else that goes on in my life on a regular day, my brain just isn't there. Oh yeah! The not sleeping for days. Just wonderful. I do think that I need a vacation. I need to go somewhere that allows me to just breathe for a little while. Maybe even just sleep for days. I would love to sleep for days.
Showing posts with label Bean. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bean. Show all posts
Monday, November 05, 2012
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
At Least 3 Ways the Baby Makes it all better.
Woke up this morning feeling completely crappy. It didn't help that the reason that I woke up was because Bean was up at 630 this morning, but mostly the baby was sick all weekend and I am now feeling the effects of that. Or my mother got me sick, but it's likely that the two of them had the same sickness. I'm sorry that I'm rambling. I have a fairly high fever, and a massive headache. Yes I will be in bed soon.
Anyway Bean was at her dads for most of today, which was awesome. The first thing she did today though, when I told her that she was going to see daddy, was cling to me and go "Nuuu". That's how she says it too. She does it as dramatic as she possibly can. It's entertaining sometimes, but lately it's become her favorite word and is therefore not all that funny. This morning though it was greatly appreciated, since it was her third day in a row to be out.
When she came home I got unprompted kisses and I love yous. I also got constant whining because the kid woke up at 630 this morning, and was then forced to leave her home when she didn't want to. The whining was over ridden by the fact that all she wanted to do was snuggle. It was a coincidence that all I wanted to do was snuggle too. If I have to be sick, then I'm glad that she's all snuggly, and wonderful.
Anyway Bean was at her dads for most of today, which was awesome. The first thing she did today though, when I told her that she was going to see daddy, was cling to me and go "Nuuu". That's how she says it too. She does it as dramatic as she possibly can. It's entertaining sometimes, but lately it's become her favorite word and is therefore not all that funny. This morning though it was greatly appreciated, since it was her third day in a row to be out.
When she came home I got unprompted kisses and I love yous. I also got constant whining because the kid woke up at 630 this morning, and was then forced to leave her home when she didn't want to. The whining was over ridden by the fact that all she wanted to do was snuggle. It was a coincidence that all I wanted to do was snuggle too. If I have to be sick, then I'm glad that she's all snuggly, and wonderful.
Friday, September 14, 2012
I'm gonna get better.
I seem to be having some problems lately getting on and getting posts done. Not just here, but anywhere. I actually am having problems getting to my computer at all. The little bean seems to think that staying up until 10 pm is the thing to do these days, and with the GF working days now, there just isn't as much time to get to my computer as there usually is. It needs to start becoming a priority though, since it seems as though I will be needing the silly thing to actually make some money.
Right now my little bean has a bit of a small cold. She didn't even want to play this morning, but settled for sitting down in her play yard and playing with some of her toys. Like most mom's I'm spending a lot of time running around fighting with her to get her nose wiped. It usually ends in her crying and then snuggling with mama.
Last night was a trial. She didn't want to sleep despite being very tired. I had gotten off a 12 hour night shift yesterday morning, and only managed to get about 3 hours of sleep so I was also very tired. When she did manage to get to sleep, she was awake within the first hour. Then she went right back out, and was awake 2 hours later. I just wish there was something that I could do to make it so she could breathe better.
Nothing like the baby having a cold to make you feel like the worst parent ever. I gonna go snuggle her now.
Right now my little bean has a bit of a small cold. She didn't even want to play this morning, but settled for sitting down in her play yard and playing with some of her toys. Like most mom's I'm spending a lot of time running around fighting with her to get her nose wiped. It usually ends in her crying and then snuggling with mama.
Last night was a trial. She didn't want to sleep despite being very tired. I had gotten off a 12 hour night shift yesterday morning, and only managed to get about 3 hours of sleep so I was also very tired. When she did manage to get to sleep, she was awake within the first hour. Then she went right back out, and was awake 2 hours later. I just wish there was something that I could do to make it so she could breathe better.
Nothing like the baby having a cold to make you feel like the worst parent ever. I gonna go snuggle her now.
Tuesday, August 07, 2012
All Better...ish.
I don't know if anyone remembers, but about a month and a half ago my little Bean broke her leg, in this freak tricycle accident. Three weeks ago she got her cast off. Two weeks ago I took her splint off so that I could see if she was ready to go. After a week and a bit of watching her hobble along and trying to get back to where she was before she broke her leg, I am happy to report that, other than a small barely noticeable limp, Bean is now running around again as though nothing even happened.
I would post a picture but she's running around so freaking fast that there really is no way to take a picture. Other than when she's sleeping. Trust me I'll bombard you guys with pictures of a wonderful sleeping Bean later, but that's not part of this story.
The good news is, her leg is 100% healed. The weird news is the fact that apparently with breaks this young in life there is a chance that her one leg, the one that broke, might grow faster than the other leg. This is something I knew nothing about, and I'm in the health care field!
I can't help but wonder if this will happen, and if she'll end up walking in circles constantly because the left leg will take bigger steps than the right leg. Or! Maybe she'll end up having to wear a stilt on just one leg so that she can walk normally.
Alright, probably time to get off the computer.
P.S. The Dr. said that it can be fixed just fine if this happens, and that's why we are going back to him in a year to double check.
I would post a picture but she's running around so freaking fast that there really is no way to take a picture. Other than when she's sleeping. Trust me I'll bombard you guys with pictures of a wonderful sleeping Bean later, but that's not part of this story.
The good news is, her leg is 100% healed. The weird news is the fact that apparently with breaks this young in life there is a chance that her one leg, the one that broke, might grow faster than the other leg. This is something I knew nothing about, and I'm in the health care field!
I can't help but wonder if this will happen, and if she'll end up walking in circles constantly because the left leg will take bigger steps than the right leg. Or! Maybe she'll end up having to wear a stilt on just one leg so that she can walk normally.
Alright, probably time to get off the computer.
P.S. The Dr. said that it can be fixed just fine if this happens, and that's why we are going back to him in a year to double check.
Friday, June 22, 2012
Conflicting Feelings
Everyone, or at least everyone in my parent's generation tells me that I have to put my kid in her crib and allow her to cry herself to sleep at night. This is done because otherwise "she'll never learn to sleep on her own". That to me sounds like bullshit.
Before I had my own kid, I just took this advice as something that needed to be followed. We let our kids cry themselves to sleep because that's what they need. They need to learn that they have to sleep alone in their beds. They have to be able to put themselves to sleep.
I don't know everything about this stuff so I have some questions. If you think about it, how is letting our baby's cry themselves to sleep teaching them that they have to sleep alone? Is it maybe instead teaching them that no one will come and comfort them in the night? And why are we teaching them to sleep alone any way, when later on in life we want them to sleep in the same bed as someone else.
There has been some research done that says letting your child cry themselves to sleep actually causes trust issues, and intimacy issues. I don't know if that is true either. I'm pretty normal *shifty*.
What I think needs to start happening more, is for people letting other people decide what is needed for their own children. Or at least supporting some of the parenting choices that are being made. I can't count how many times I have been told by people who haven't spent much of any time around Bean, what is best for her. The sleeping thing comes to mind the most.
I decided early, that night time was going to be Bean and mommy time, and that's the way it has always been. This means that I snuggle her to sleep on the couch and then put her in her crib. This works most nights rather well. Some nights though, she doesn't get the hint that it's bed time until 11. Then I get told that I need routine, and that she should go in her crib to cry and blah blah blah. She has a routine, and I am very uncomfortable letting her cry in her crib as a way of putting her to sleep. She can just as easily cry in my arms, where I can kiss her and try and get her to understand that I'm not angry, she just needs to sleep.
I also realize that this doesn't work for everyone. I'm not saying that anyone else but me needs to do this, and in fact it doesn't work all that well for her father when he does it. There has also been times when I have put her in her crib, but she spend the time chatting to herself, and is content, not screaming and mad and tired. I also realize that the biggest criticism is the fact that babies cry when they don't get their own way. True. But who really wants to be put in a cage at night and left alone in the dark?
Yeah. Think about that.
Before I had my own kid, I just took this advice as something that needed to be followed. We let our kids cry themselves to sleep because that's what they need. They need to learn that they have to sleep alone in their beds. They have to be able to put themselves to sleep.
I don't know everything about this stuff so I have some questions. If you think about it, how is letting our baby's cry themselves to sleep teaching them that they have to sleep alone? Is it maybe instead teaching them that no one will come and comfort them in the night? And why are we teaching them to sleep alone any way, when later on in life we want them to sleep in the same bed as someone else.
There has been some research done that says letting your child cry themselves to sleep actually causes trust issues, and intimacy issues. I don't know if that is true either. I'm pretty normal *shifty*.
What I think needs to start happening more, is for people letting other people decide what is needed for their own children. Or at least supporting some of the parenting choices that are being made. I can't count how many times I have been told by people who haven't spent much of any time around Bean, what is best for her. The sleeping thing comes to mind the most.
I decided early, that night time was going to be Bean and mommy time, and that's the way it has always been. This means that I snuggle her to sleep on the couch and then put her in her crib. This works most nights rather well. Some nights though, she doesn't get the hint that it's bed time until 11. Then I get told that I need routine, and that she should go in her crib to cry and blah blah blah. She has a routine, and I am very uncomfortable letting her cry in her crib as a way of putting her to sleep. She can just as easily cry in my arms, where I can kiss her and try and get her to understand that I'm not angry, she just needs to sleep.
I also realize that this doesn't work for everyone. I'm not saying that anyone else but me needs to do this, and in fact it doesn't work all that well for her father when he does it. There has also been times when I have put her in her crib, but she spend the time chatting to herself, and is content, not screaming and mad and tired. I also realize that the biggest criticism is the fact that babies cry when they don't get their own way. True. But who really wants to be put in a cage at night and left alone in the dark?
Yeah. Think about that.
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